If you’ve ever worked a day in your life then you’ve probably done at least one thing that is grounds for termination. Whether it was something relatively small and insignificant such as borrowing office supplies with no intention of returning them or perhaps something as trivial as spending a combined 14 hours a week texting instead of actually contributing anything to your job, you’ve done something that has warranted your immediate dismissal. We all have so don’t try to tell me you haven’t. Which is why we all have a Fear of Being Fired.
Here’s the thing about jobs: Your manager knows you don’t work the entire time you’re at work. Everyone knows. It’s a matter of finding that fine line between acceptable laziness and absolute blatant disregard for the fact these people sign your paychecks and a job is a privilege, not a right. For example: Consider only using a single ear bud instead of both to give the illusion you still care about the ramblings of your boss. If you don’t, you risk losing everything: your career, your source of income, your house, your growing collection of off-brand disfigured dolls, while family and friends will ostracize you at a moments notice for being without a job. Or maybe it’s because of that whole doll thing.
Having a Fear of Being Fired is a lot like downloading movies or music illegally. The actions you’re doing may seem harmless in the moment, an album here, an entire anthology there, but after you blow through your office’s entire Internet limit while occupying all their bandwidth, they may decide to reevaluate your role. See how that works?
There’s no reason why you have to be looking over your shoulder every five minutes at work. Despite what you might think, no one is actually sitting at home or in their office monitoring cameras to measure productivity. The one exception: Company’s that tell you they constantly monitor their cameras to measure productivity. As such, there’s no reason to think you can actually be let go for something you thought you were doing when no one was watching. With that said, if they want you gone they will find a way and a reason.
When the time comes for that conversation; the one where they have to let you go, you can seek solace in knowing it’s not you, it’s them. As in it’s them that don’t want you because you’re terrible at what you do.
And if you are woefully unemployed or are self-employed, then that explains why you’re reading this and not actually doing any work. Get a job.
