Could you imagine the thought of being away from your TV the night the latest episode of Golden Girls aired? What if they were playing the entire Blade Trilogy and you missed it because you were out having a life? It’s unfathomable to think about, but this is the world we lived in before the invention of the Personal Video Recording or PVR for those who only know things by their acronyms. It’s also called a DVR, but we won’t go there. You spent all that time clicking the ‘record’ button but what would happen if you had a Fear of Deleting Something You PVR’d? This is definitely different than Fear of Accidentally Deleting Something. Okay, it’s a stretch, but just go with me on this one.
The entire purpose this revolutionary system was developed was to ensure the everyday man could be both productive and lazy simultaneously. And it worked! Now our heroes can finally enjoy a night on the town without worrying about missing re-runs of Full House or the latest headlines in the news which apparently can never be seen again from any other source if missed the first time. Before PVRing, Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) ran rampant across the Western hemisphere. But now.. Even after this gift was bestowed upon us, a new Fear was born. Fear of Deleting Something You PVR’d.
You settle in to finally watch that episode of the Bachelor from 6 weeks ago even though you’ve seen every episode since and… It’s gone. All your hard work of clicking the “record” button was for nothing. Now how are you going to watch the most heartbreaking moment ever captured in scripted TV? Now there’s a new moment and you’re living it. Just without the cameras and the 15lbs of make-up. Presumably. How did it happen? How did it all fall apart so quickly? Either the storage capacity of the unit was pushed past its breaking point or you simply didn’t understand what the “delete” button meant. Either way, it’s a tragedy full of hyperbole.
Short of just watching the given program of your interest during its allotted time slot, you are forced to rely on recording it, reading about it in the still completely relevant newspaper the following day or hearing about it from a chatty coworker. If you do the latter, you run the risk of your boss hearing you gossip and then get fired. Only recording it provides you with the satisfaction of a job well done. But this also puts you at risk of accidentally deleting it with no hope of ever being able to relive the 2011 World Series again and again. If you ignore the fact you can find absolutely anything online at any time…hmm.
