It happens to almost everyone. The only people it doesn’t happen to are vampires and they don’t count as people. Because they are vampires. Getting older is a beautiful (and often hideous), natural part of life that everyone should embrace with the same disdain we all share with other natural occurrences like shoplifting, cats urinating on our favourite shirts, and air pollution. Having a Fear of Getting Old is like having a Fear of Rain. It’s going to happen. You just better hope you brought an extra pair of socks,
Fear of Getting Old Never Gets Old
Aging is usually defined as “one being more wise than someone else who is slightly younger”. Having wisdom is often described “don’t do that. I’ve done it before and it was really dumb”. You can often tell how wise someone is by the number of wrinkles on their face or how high they wear their slacks. One trick to completely reversing the aging process while simultaneously causing you to look like a deformed gargoyle is botox injections. Also referred to as “getting work done” because letting people know you actually look your age would be a far worse outcome. This in itself would be a great Fear to write about as it has spawned so many questionable results that leave witnesses wondering what side of the black lagoon that creature woke up on. Plus it makes for some great conversation pieces when you see someone you know in public and they don’t know whether to ask about it or quickly walk away.
So why do we have a Fear of Getting Old? Is it the promise of imminent death? Knowing that with every wrinkle that slowly grows under your eye that your time on this planet is slipping further and further away. Does this leave you wondering whether the mark you’ve left, your legacy, will be enough to have you spoken about in even the most abstract and desperate elementary school-level history classes? Yes. But it’s also because you can’t do half the things you used to do because your body simply can’t keep up. This is more or less the reason Viagara was invented.
Fear of Getting Old is Just a Number
Every year we blow out the metaphorical (or literal) candles on the birthday cake of life. This symbolizes how we are one step closer to death. And one step closer to a depressing way to end a blog post. So what can be done to help ease the process and make you feel a little bit more confident in your cold, wrinkly skin? Well, for one, everyone in the world will be going through the exact same thing; often in large groups called ‘generations’. So don’t worry about feeling alone while you transform into a skeletal wreck of your former self. You’re still you! Just old.
