Can I start this off by saying how much I hated this movie or should I save that for the end? Either way, here’s a Things I Fear Movie Review for The Pact. Good lord this movie was awful- spoiler alert.
The word “slow” does not even begin to describe the pace of this disaster of a horror movie. It starts off with confusion about someone dying or something that seems moderately important happening. Next thing you know, the main character is absorbed by a door. Then a new main character is introduced and actually lasts longer than 15 minutes into the movie. It is at this point that everything begins to unravel. Scary things have sort of happened at this point. I think. It was hard to tell what was scary and what was just a predictable cliche.
So the movie starts off by insinuating that the mom has something to do with the “spirit” in the house. Apparently that couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s about the friend of a mom who we first discover thanks to the gift of Google Maps. She points at a cloud or a tree or something and then floats around a room. It makes about as much sense as what you just read. So the main character whose name I can’t even remember (and I saw this less than 12 hours before writing this) contacts some blind chick who lives at a brothel and is guarded by a bipolar pimp who ends up punching the main chick in the face. It’s hilarious how abruptly it happens.
Something happens with a Ouija Board that she draws on the floor with a marker. Then a bald guy emerges from the floor and eats some kind of vegetable dip with his fingers. Then she has a gun while he lives in the walls or something. Then she rides a motorcycle and ends up living with this little girl who I don’t think actually knows who her mother is. Because I couldn’t figure it out either.
Honestly, this movie was so bad. Just so so bad. I’m still trying to piece together what I watched so if anyone has a better grasp on what this movie is about, please contact me or warn others via social media. Otherwise, I hope this The Pact Movie Review was enough to ensure you never have to watch this.
