If you have a Fear of Snakes, you probably missed this one when it debuted back in 1997. Or perhaps you watched it when it first came out and that’s what inspired your Fear! If you haven’t seen it, this review will make you feel like you have but if you have seen it before, this review will do very little beyond a quick summary of what you already know. Regardless, here is a Things I Fear Movie Review for Anaconda.
The movie starts very quickly with a down on his luck man having to climb a boat to escape from an unseen creature. Then the main characters converge on a boat for unexplained but hinted at purposes where they discover a frantic individual who is trapped on a boat of his own. He has an accent that varies drastically and cannot be attributed to any known part of the world.
After some drama unfolds on a boat involving an underwater wasp, a monkey in a tree, some jostling and revisiting the floating cabin from the beginning of the movie, things progress to the climax. Everyone is a well trained fighter except for Owen Wilson who dies a pretty forgettable death. Did I mention Owen Wilson is in the movie? He is but he dies. Ice Cube is in the movie too but he lives. Sort of a reverse spoiler alert.
So the snake eats the boat driver and then sort of just appears on demand after this. It’s all pretty quick from that point forward but you’re left with this constant feeling of “where is this going?” throughout the course of the movie. After some pretty bad script and line reading, there’s much to be desired. I think there might have been two snakes but I sort of lost count.
Some movies do well at withstanding the test of time. Movies like Jaws or The Exorcist are still watchable today and their legacy remains intact. Movies like The Blair Witch Project can still be appreciated but it’s very easy to point and laugh now. Movies like Anaconda do their best but just can’t keep up. Overall, it’s worth watching to say you’ve seen it but it’s teetering closer to Piranha DD territory.
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