It’s a gift very few people possess. A gift that if you have it, you flaunt it and share it with friends and family. A gift that if you don’t possess it makes you envy those who have it and use it every day. I, of course, am referring to the Kuraidori knife set from Canadian Tire which makes an excellent gift around the holidays. But that knife set would be worthless to anyone with a Fear of Cooking.
Fear of Cooking: A Full-Course Phobia
Having a Fear of Cooking is the difference between having all your meals delivered to your door versus being able to handcraft whatever you are craving in a moment’s notice. It’s the difference between masterfully blending the perfect balance of sweet, savory and spice versus burning your palm because you didn’t know which stove burner you turned on. With so many things to go horribly wrong in the kitchen, Fear of Cooking is the leading cause of starvation world wide (do not fact-check that).
When you open the cupboard and see a delightful box of unbranded, instant macaroni your eyes light up as bright as the artificial cheese you’ll soon be sprinkling on top of that hearty bowl of empty calories. When you open the freezer and discover there is still an entire frozen pizza just begging to be thawed, your stomach growls with anticipation reminiscent of the days you drank the tap water in Mexico. The only thing you Fear is not being able to cap the meal off with a refreshing glass of freshly squeezed orange juice from a can with no expiration date. If only the master chef himself could witness your glory.
The Recipe to Cure Your Fear of Cooking
If you don’t want to touch the oven, that’s fine. It produces heat and heat is scary. If you would rather order food online, your only real concern is identity theft or not getting enough plastic utensils in the bag. Besides, you need to be careful of real utensils too or you end up having your face meet the business end of a butter knife. Not willing to take the risk? You can also elect to simply rummage through the garbage cans of your neighbours in search of anything that even once vaguely resembled food. They always have such nice things.
Have any recipes you want to share? No? What about ideas for new Fears? Let us know on Facebook!
