Though it’s often much easier to lose hundreds or thousands of fake internet dollars by placing a wager online, it is still entirely possible you lose money by putting physical bills onto a table or watching a tiny ball drop into a numbered slot. Anytime you can tangibly see your money disappear is worse than a couple clicks and a rejected e-transfer. Either way, having a Fear of Gambling can often be the safest way to avoid things like instant bankruptcy or having your knees bashed by a lead pipe. Assuming you are a down-on-your-luck chump from a 1950s movie.
Doubling Down on Your Fear of Gambling
The expression “hit me” is often used in the game of Blackjack to signify you are ready to lose your money faster than your opponent. As your opponent is usually the casino dealer without a care in the world about wagering house money, losing is inevitable. It’s the opposite of saying “go fish” which means you are successfully winning against a child and the world is your oyster.
When you gamble, you can risk betting nothing at all or you can bet anything you want pending you are without Fear of consequences. (Sidenote: is that a good idea for a post? Let me know!) When you win, you can double your investment or break even. Breaking even means you should walk away from the table before things get worse and you feel confident. There’s nothing more dangerous in gambling than confidence. When you inevitably lose, you need to very quickly slink away and pretend it was all a big joke. Sounds like a good time, right? False! Gambling is a nightmare and should only be attempted by the criminally insane. Exception: going all-in on a sure thing.
Hitting the Jackpot on Fear of Gambling
While the colourful lights, ambient energy and windowless sources of oxygen of a casino can definitely be an enticing way to spend your Friday night (and probably Saturday morning), there are much easier ways to lose your money. For example: you can liquidate your assets from the bank and engulf it in flames. Alternatively, you can invest in something you don’t believe will make it out of the development stage. Like a brick-and-mortar video store which only sells blank VHS tapes (patent pending).
If interacting with other human beings isn’t your scene or you Fear being recognized by a fellow degenerate, you can spend your free time online. From there you can do things like make a dating profile (don’t worry, you never have to actually meet the person) or buy a book written by your new favourite author. At least one of those options is free so there’s basically no risk. The other option is a gateway to Hell. No spoilers though!
If all else fails, you can always just bet everything you own on double-zero. It’s never double-zero so surely it has to be due for a huge payout!
