Fear of Marriage – Written By: Wendy C
Is he THE one? Is she THE one? Some people know. Other people don`t know. And then there are those of us who flat out have no idea what “THE one” even means! So to make a decision to be with one person for the rest of our lives can be well, terrifying! You know what I’m referring to, right? It’s the dreaded M word; Marriage.
Technically speaking, marriage is until death do you part. This means that you are with the same person until you die, they die, or the world ends… whichever happens to come first! For those of you who have found your soul mate, your one true love and your other-half in life, this is great news! But for those of you who have attracted everyone but THE one, this is depressing news! You get to spend the rest of your life with _____________ (insert undesired candidate’s name here). And since you don’t want to, or are unsure if you want to spend the rest of your life with _____________ (insert undesired candidate’s name here again, but don’t let them know you did), you avoid marriage as though it were the plague! Surprisingly, you are not alone. There are a lot of people who are afraid of getting married, afraid of making that walk down the aisle and afraid of saying I Do. There is an actual name for this fear too! It`s called Gamophobia!
Now, there are many reasons that people tend to fear marriage. For starters, some people are afraid of committing to one person for the rest of their life. This is because they are afraid that the person they marry on their wedding day may morph into someone completely different and less desirable in the future. (Think Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde here!) Others are afraid of settling down in life, or being tied down, depending on how you see it. For these people, there are still plenty of fish left in the sea! (By the way, that`s the name of an actual dating website!) Still others are afraid that marriage leads to a decrease in things one enjoys such as sex, and an increase in things one doesn’t enjoy, like shopping for drapery. (That’s a word you will only come to learn the meaning of, after you get married!)
But there is no reason to fear marriage, and I’m not just saying that because I am married! Marriage is a beautiful thing. Sorry to sound mushy here, but it really is! Marriage is two people promising to be true to each other and be with each other for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, until death do them part. Translation? It’s being with someone through it all. Better translation? It’s a person promising to be with you through it all, not because they have to, but because they want to! (Please note, that I am not suggesting that everyone should run out and get married, rather I’m just saying that there is no reason to fear marriage!)
Granted, things will not be all peaches and cream in marriage, and I`m saying that because I am married! Marriage is a journey, and like any journey it is filled with both highs and lows. The highs are when you feel like you are on cloud nine. The lows? Well, they’re the times you feel like, for lack of a better word, crap! But then again, isn’t life the same? And you don’t go about fearing life, do you? So why fear marriage?
You shouldn’t! If you have found the right person, and want to share the rest of your life with that person, you need to take a leap of faith. You take a leap of faith in life, in love, in your partner and in marriage. That’s it.
Seriously, that’s it!
No really, that is it! I know this isn`t probably what you wanted to hear, but that’s what all couples who decide to get married have to ultimately do!
So…still getting cold feet when you hear the word marriage? Then, let me leave you with this little known fact. Being married is the cheaper option in life. Not only do you get to save on living expenses such as rent, groceries and entertainment, you also get a bigger tax break. That’s right, being married puts you in a better tax bracket than a single person! Here comes the bride… J
