I really had high hopes for this movie. I did a little research and it was given some pretty decent reviews. So, I went into the movie expecting a lot. And I got a lot. I just wish I didn’t. Sort of like how you might feel after reading this Things I Fear Movie Review for Session 9.
The basic premise of the movie is some asbestos workers have to clean out an old insane asylum because…because…I don’t really remember why. Maybe there wasn’t a reason. Throughout the movie, there were several instances of “why did that just happen…” so I just chose to ignore that minor detail. The movie stars Horatio Caine sans sunglasses. There is also a Scottish guy and some guy from a TV show that I can’t remember right now. Anyway, so the Scott and Caine are cleaning out the asylum and then a guy pulls out some coins from a wall. Then a young guy is playing music and some other guy is listening to tapes. That’s more or less the first 45 minutes but it feels longer than that.
The transitions between scenes are hilarious. There is almost no explanation for why anything is happening. When they all gather on the roof to make some important business calls, you will see what I mean. The flashback scenes of the woman holding a baby near a bowl of boiling water actually makes sense at the very end of the movie. But not for the first hour and a bit. Oh, and the Scottish guy has a weird skin condition at one point. Or something. It was weird and it all happened really fast.
The twist at the end of the movie is cool. Until you stop and think about it. Then it doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. Go back and watch the movie again. The plot holes are tremendous. That’s the best part of the movie. Between that and the weird sounds you hear are just inexplicably stupid. Things just seem to happen.
There really isn’t much more to be said about this movie. Just try to avoid it if you can. Or you can watch it and laugh at how utterly absurd it is. It always comes back to the basic plot of the movie: Some asbestos workers are cleaning out an abandoned insane asylum.
OH! And Horatio Caine has a completely unexplained encounter with some thuggish-looking drug dealers. It’s priceless. And that’s pretty much the Session 9 Movie Review. Let us know if that helps by commenting on Facebook so everyone else can understand why they shouldn’t watch this movie.
