The movie starts off with nothing happening for the first hour and a half. Then that trend continues for the final fifteen minutes of the movie. This movie is the biggest waste of time since watching Black Death. Which I refuse to write a review for because it doesn’t deserve one. Yet Lovely Molly received a Review…Anyway, here is The Fields Movie Review for whatever reason. I’m already regretting this review.
The Fields is about a kid who lives with his grandparents because his dad has an abnormally long gun. He is warned not to go into the corn field by his grandmother for no reason. This ambiguous omen proves to be the entire premise of the plot. The kid is utterly emotionless but he does have a weird clown-looking thing in his room. This detail has no bearing on the movie but is on the same level as the corn field warning. Failing to show any sort of villain is ideal for any movie relying on having any semblance of a plot. Which is why the “ghost” is Captain Hook and only appears twice in the movie. Someone hides under the bed at one point but unfortunately doesn’t actually contribute to anything either. I like to think the producers didn’t notice this until after the film was released.
Despite the fact the plot was written mad-libs style and doesn’t concern itself with flow or purpose, it somehow doesn’t make any sense. Weird how that happened, right? The entire movie is just a giant question that no one should ever try to answer. You should stick to reading The Fields Movie Review instead of actually watching the movie because it’s somehow more exciting. Someone needs to tell the team of writers, directors and producers to do literally anything else with their lives. Perhaps they could consider writing for Things I Fear?
The climax of the movie is more anticlimactic than the opening credits. Everything about this movie is atrocious. Never watch The Fields. Ever.
Disagree with me? Of course you don’t. In case you have your own version of The Fields Movie Review, you can share it with the world (well, if the world had less than 200 people). People love having their opinions read and ripped apart almost as much as they enjoy hearing themselves talk.
