Much like Fear of the Sun, which I won’t be writing about because that’s ridiculous, Fear of The Heat stems from a long and familiar understanding that things which are too hot are uncomfortable. This is why you don’t put your hand on a stove top after using it for an hour and why you should generally try to refrain from setting yourself on fire. Beyond both of these classic examples, there is also a notion that heat itself, in any form, is awful.
Fear of Heat is Heating Up
During peak times of the year, especially during lovely little moments called heat waves, this realization is magnified to an unbearable degree. It’s the feeling of being trapped under a magnifying glass, positioned just below the inescapable rays of the sun as it relentlessly beats down on you with no regard for how it messes up your hair. It causes people to stay indoors, get angry at each other over the smallest of disagreements, sweat profusely out of parts of the body you didn’t even know could sweat, and causes a constant feeling that this is the world we now live in and the heat is forever.
Fear of The Heat causes problems for more than just people. Animals get treated as barometers by placing them in locked cars with the windows tightly sealed. Which is probably the stupidest thing any human being can do to an animal and I don’t understand how that keeps happening and why they always seem surprised their cars get broken into to free their pets or why people throw blood on them since they are wearing fur coats in the summer. The point is: People are dumb and the heat is hot. That’s what that rant was about.
How to Cool Down Your Fear of Heat
So what can you do if you or someone you know is without a working air conditioning unit and therefore slowly succumbing to their Fear of Heat by melting? Consider filling a bathtub full of nature’s miracle coolant: ice cubes. Thanks to their superior ability to melt within mere minutes, you’ll know you’re living in what can only be described as Hell on earth in which there is no escape. You thought I was going to suggest submerging yourself in ice, didn’t you? That’s gross. People use that ice in their drinks. Have some respect.
