Before the lawsuits start flying in, this post has almost nothing to do with the timeless movie classic that shares a similar name. If anything, I should be suing them for thinking of the title before me. This post is about having a Fear of Meeting the Parents or family members of the person you met online and are dating and the potentially terrifyingly awkward experience that includes.
Introducing Yourself to Fear of Meeting the Parents
Now there comes a point in time when you are seeing someone that you have to take the next step and meet their family. This could involve an intervention-like situation that requires you to awkwardly sit down in a room occupied by a couple of chairs, a coffee table, and a single clock that ominously ticks as the moments slowly pass. Or it could involve a simple hello when you drop your lady of the night (I feel like that might not be the best word choice) off at her house to find her entire family standing in the doorway.
How you meet them isn’t important. The fact of the matter is that at some point, her father will turn down a corner from the newspaper he’s reading and just give you a disappointed look. Her mother will offer you something to eat and make a snide comment about how you’re obese and/or anorexic. If you are a girl, the father will pat his son on the back and say something that belittles you as a species while his mother will seem overly eager and chummy to the point where you can’t tell if she’s jolly or mentally unstable. It’s tough on everyone.
Committing Yourself to a Fear of Meeting the Parents
After you actually meet your significant others’ parents, you have to face the crippling reality that your relationship is more serious than you thought. If this happens after the first date, you have to be prepared to propose by the third date. Anything later than that would just be rude. If you haven’t met your date’s parents by the 45th date or after five years of dating, it likely means that they don’t want you to meet them because they plan on dumping you by year 11. It’s a sad reality that it’s better to understand sooner than later.
I’m quite familiar with the concept. I shouldn’t say I’m an expert at awkwardly meeting someone’s parents for the first time, but I will anyway: I’m an expert.
