Full disclosure: I am currently writing this while in the waiting room for my own dental appointment. If that’s not in-depth journalism about having a Fear of The Dentist, I don’t know what is. As I write this, I cannot hear any painful and horrific screams coming from the rooms next to me. I do not see the look of pure ecstasy in the lifeless eyes of the dentists as they maliciously carve into the root canals of unsuspecting patients. Instead, I see a few outdated magazines sitting on an Ikea table and can hear the pleasant chime of a bell every time the door opens. It’s utter chaos in here.
Thrills & Fill(ing)s with Fear of the Dentist
Fear of The Dentist is likely the result of years of conditioning that you shouldn’t put things in your mouth that aren’t food. No one ever said the only exception is a dentist’s hands wielding miniature ice picks and comically small mirrors. Power tools typically don’t go in your mouth either, but you have to get the cavities out somehow. Dental work in itself is such a medieval premise yet makes so much sense. You eat things and those tiny white polygons (because not all teeth are created equal) in your mouth eventually start to break down because they are not invincible to years of trying to open bottles with them or rinsing with red wine. As such, routine use of sharp bristles, callously scraping against your teeth or rope designed to penetrate within the minuscule spacing between them, have been carefully constructed to delay the inevitable fall from grace your mouth will experience. Vis-a-vis gingivitis. Don’t even get me started on filling your mouth with metal squares held in place by more metal wiring. Despite how simplified the materials involved are, you still need to take out a loan from the bank to afford half the services dentists provide.
Extracting Your Fear of the Dentist
At the crux of any great Fear is an iconic figurehead that perfectly encapsulates everything about the Fear itself. The idea of a man wearing a mask, blinding you with a light while wielding a power tool designed to carve through bone pretty much sums that one up. And I know what you’re thinking: why does it have to be a man? Women can be dentists as well. And you’re right! But if that’s your biggest problem with this article then you need to get your teeth checked more often.
Update: I’m no longer at the dentist so the intro is a little awkward now and there’s simply just no way to update it. No way at all.
