Is 30 seconds of a movie truly long enough to determine whether you should continue watching or not? In this case, 30 seconds was way too long. Before the opening credits started to trickle in, my mind was made up about this one. But to save you the time, here is The Basement Movie Review. A movie that combined cliches with predictability to formulate something that was supposed to be chaotic and spontaneous.
Holy hell, there’s a clown. Of course there is. Trying to capitalize on the success of the recreated IT, this one misses the mark drastically when it comes to unsettling creepy clown antics. Then things take a turn for the Split when officer generic comes swooping in to save the day. Somehow both of these scenes drag on for an uncomfortably long time yet barely any movie time has actually passed. Thankfully, detective type-cast comes in and adds no value to the plot. Meanwhile, the captured guy’s wife is beginning to think it’s unusual her husband hasn’t come home after going out for a single bottle of champagne. It’s almost like she was delaying the inevitable by trying to avoid having lines in the movie.
Do you think when actors agree to ‘star’ in really bad movies they know they are terrible before filming begins? Do you think they just hit a moment during the first week or so of filming and just go ‘what have I done?’ or do they somehow convince themselves this was a good career choice? I only ask because this movie is really really bad so it surprised me to see the same cast in every scene. The wardrobe & make-up crews deserve a huge raise though. This movie would be nothing without them. Well, it is nothing but they saved it from being less than nothing.
Can’t decide which line is better between “ahh no, not my left hand! Not my left hand!!” or “thanks for coming over; I didn’t know who else to call.” “I’m your best friend” “oh”. And I’m sorry but can the main character seriously not figure out the crazed captor is just the same guy with “multiple personalities”? Like really? And the entire premise of the multiple personalities concept only really works if they can co-exist together and have overlapping dialogue or plot progression. Except for maybe the pizza guy, there really is nothing in the way of continuity. Plus that whole scene sort of contradicts everything leading up to it. But this movie is not worth pointing out plot holes. Oh and the plot twist at the end is the most “what’s something we can just throw in here to make this movie seem better than it was?” situation ever.
This is close to being the worst movie ever. Do yourself a favour and go read a post like this one or even this one or just go watch paint dry instead of enduring this. At least paint has the potential to be sort of exciting, this movie cannot. Disagree with our opinion? Fine, then at least explain yourself on Facebook or write your own The Basement Movie Review for everyone to disagree with.
