For the longest time, I didn’t know cars could be driven any other way but automatically. I thought you pushed the gas to go faster and the brake to slow down and that was how cars worked. Changing gears was just something that happened along the way. Of course, I’m also the person who literally thought cruise control drove the car for you. I know nothing about cars. Then one day that all changed: I found out cruise control just keeps you at a consistent speed. It’s not a miraculous invention. And I also found out there’s something called driving Standard. Not that I have a Fear of Driving Standard but I’m sure someone out there does. Is it you?
Zooming Towards a Fear of Driving Standard
Fear of Driving stems from the changing of the gears and moving the stick thingy and working the clutch. Many people are intimidated by the idea of using their hands and needing a third leg to operate a vehicle. While driving on its own can be terrifying, driving standard can be even worse. You can be a world class driver and still get into an accident because of the clowns on the road. I mean that both literally and not. You also have to worry about things like the weather, pedestrians, pot holes and the Hardy Boys becoming a movie series. It can be tough. But driving standard is a whole separate issue. In addition to all of the variables while driving, you have to devote your attention to what your foot is doing on the third pedal, what your hand is doing on the stick shift, while making sure the two of them are working in sync. Otherwise, your car will stall in the middle of the road and everyone will hate you. And your passengers will begin to throw things at you from the backseat.
On hills, no matter how steep, your car will roll back. When you attempt to prevent this from happening, your car will stall. Driving standard is basically just finding out all the many ways your car can stall in the most inconvenient places. Even on flat ground, driving requires you to really have a good sense of your own car. If you feel the engine is working too hard, you need to change gears. If you are the lead in a pack of 15 cars, driving 20km under the speed limit, you need to change gears. Changing gears isn’t as simple as just clicking a button though. Oh no. First of all, you need to be going at an appropriate speed to shift. Then you take off your foot from the gas and put it on the clutch (which is pedal #3). You then use your right hand and move it into the correct position. Assuming all has gone well; you remove your foot from the clutch and return it to the gas pedal. All of this needs to happen FAST. Failure to do so well result in instant death and/or the ability to comfortably drive with the flow of traffic.
Changing Gears on Your Fear of Driving Standard
If you do everything right, your car will continue moving forward at a reasonable speed when you want it to and will slow down or stop when you’ve had enough. Until you become an expert in driving standard, it will be the single most horrifying experience of your life. That’s why they make automatic cars for people with a Fear of Driving Standard because they know the pandemonium that would ensue if every car had to driven in this barbaric way. If nothing else works, you could always just stay at home forever.
