Much like Fear of Santa, we are thankfully only reminded of this seasonal nightmare once a year. And for good reason. Whether it’s the menacing fangs or the sinister grin of the great beast who scatters chocolate around the globe while remaining completely unseen, this rogue rabbit is truly the stuff of legend and it just makes sense to have a Fear of the Easter Bunny.
What Does Fear of the Easter Bunny Look Like?
There are dozens of foil-wrapped reasons to have a Fear of the Easter Bunny. For example: An over-sized, under-appreciated rabbit has broken into your house to re-write the book on stranger danger. Not enough to have you quivering in your milk-chocolate shoes (Patent Pending)? Then how about the fact that no one can definitively say what the Easter Bunny actually looks like. Reminiscent of Big Foot, many have unsuccessfully tried to replicate its (his?..her?) appearance. Whether it’s the pink fur or those lifeless eyes, without photographic evidence it is difficult to say whether these imitations are accurate or just feeble attempts to ward off the bunny with flattery.
While Santa Claus watches you sleep and strikes with gift-giving precision in the dark of night, the Easter Bunny spreads its cheer by means of hiding chocolate and candies aimlessly throughout the house with no regard for peanut allergies all with the sole intention of fattening you up or preparing you for years of insulin shots.
The Easter Bunny travels the world seeking vengeance over those who wronged it in a past life. Or so the story I just wrote goes. The Easter Bunny Fears no animal so your guard dogs are powerless to stop it. The real reason you can’t feed a dog chocolate is because its ancestors once encountered the dark rabbit itself and the Fear never left the species. You can try to move out and start fresh somewhere new but the Easter Bunny will find you.
Hop Away from Fear of the Easter Bunny
Before we get too far ahead of ourselves, let’s try to remember that there really is no such thing as the Easter Bunny. So let’s all just calm down and appreciate the fact that when we wake up on Sunday morning, there will literally be chocolate everywhere because the world is obsessed with a rabbit.