For some reason, someone, somewhere at some point made the executive decision that any wild animal can be domesticated as long as it’s cute enough and can wear a collar that says “Rocky” or “Spike”. Thankfully, the first wild animal this person decided to test the theory on was a dog and not a rabid grizzly bear or a hungry, hungry shark. Looking back on it now, this can probably be viewed as a success story. Nevertheless, there are still those who Fear our four legged friends and therefore an article must be written. This is Fear of Dogs.
When Fear of Dogs Bites Back
What else can be said about dogs that hasn’t been widely published in books or spread across Instagram because no one gets sick of seeing your pet do something you find mildly entertaining? They have teeth, four legs, can run faster than you, are carnivorous, are the cousins of wolves and coyotes and are frequently left unattended with children. As humans, it is our duty to not only take our dogs for walks before the sun rises when it is negative twenty degrees but we also have to ensure we have plenty of plastic bags with us because it’s our responsibility to let our pets defecate wherever they please so long as we can be the ones to carry it for the rest of the walk.
Unlike cats which are often able to achieve sleep for more than 25 hours a day, dogs have endless bounds of energy and are more than happy to remind you that you are in need of a new pair of shoes because your last ones were eaten. Somehow. Additionally, dogs enjoy occupying 90% of your bed and barking at nothing in particular at three in the morning. Thanks, dogs.
Take Your Fear of Dogs for a Walk
Truly person’s best friend (it’s 2020, people. Let’s not limit an entire species to one gender. Am I right?), dogs are also known for their ability to learn tricks and basic commands such as “roll over”, “sit”, and “go maul the mailman”. Yes, we are finally able to find an animal willing to do our bidding for us and all we have to do is put some peanut butter inside of a toy and avert our eyes when the dog is trying to lick its genitalia. That’s the compromise we make.
Assuming all goes well, the dogs we welcome into our homes will not gnaw on our own bones after chewing off the fresh meat covering it, but instead will happily settle for dried out, simulated flavour treats instead.
Know someone with a Fear of Dogs? Don’t forget to share this on Facebook since people still use that platform!
