There are basically two types of movies in the Horror Movie community. There are movies designed to scare people with frightening topics, situations, and specific Fears. These movies usually stand the test of time and are still just as watchable 20 years after they debuted. These movies are often replicated by other movie studios in an attempt to ride the success of their originals. On the flip side, there are also movies designed purely to be watched, forgotten, and written about in only the most sarcastic and cynical way. Take a wild guess which side of the coin this Unfriended: Dark Web Movie Review is going to land on. I know my vote.
So the first 20 minutes or so is basically just an ad for Apple. The computer company, not the fruit. Though I would be interested to see a horror movie about an actual apple. I guess that’s sort of what Sleeping Beauty was about. Remember that Disney classic? Girl eats an apple, falls asleep, and then something else happens? Timeless. Anyway, so this is done in a similar way like how Paranormal Activity 4 was just an ad for Prius. Which is still my favourite part of that whole franchise. The first 20 minutes of this movie is like watching a tutorial on how to use a computer and troubleshoot basic issues. These issues range from how to login to Facebook, how to watch videos, and re-opening closed windows. Fans of spooky tech movies will like this. Other than that niche, this movie is not for you.
After some light conversation, weird jokes, and exciting news, the friends on the video call switch conversation topics. Did I mention there were friends involved? Did I mention the video call? I feel like that whole Apple thing sidetracked me. So the main character reveals he stole his fancy new laptop from a coffee shop. The laptop is actually a product of the dark web. Naturally, he and his friends start going through the files and discover some pretty graphic things. You would think getting to this part of the movie would take about 5 or 10 minutes. But no. It’s about half over. This is just another reason why some people have a Fear of going to certain coffee shops. As if we needed more reasons.
The dark web man isn’t happy with the main character’s decisions. This causes a ripple effect that no one is happy about. A lot of cyber hacking goes on. Storylines progress, weird jokes happen. Unrelated: The Cards Against Humanity scene, while a great game, is so awkward. Things really start escalating when a roommate is attacked. The friends aren’t sure what’s real anymore. The main guy (you would think I know his name but I don’t) has to do his part to keep everything seeming normal. Meanwhile, the dark web people are always watching. Really makes you think about what is going on in the world at any given moment.
I was wondering how they could possibly fit all of the carnage into the final quarter. Over an hour is spent setting up the deaths of so many people. So many loose ends need to be addressed. Then…it happens. It happens fast. Everything just sort of takes place in one seamless breath. Can breaths be seamless? Either way, it actually works surprisingly well. Did I like this movie? This is weird. It wasn’t particularly good, but I really thought it was going to be much, much worse. It’s worth watching when you cannot find anything else and need to waste an hour and a half. Or this movie will instantly become one of your favourites if your threshold for what counts as a good movie is low. If I had some type of star-rating system, this is the part where I would tell you that information. But I don’t.
Unfriended: Dark Web Movie Review Final Thoughts
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