Anyone who considers themselves a connoisseur of getting their body rubbed by a stranger needn’t read this. However, those who might think twice before exchanging money for having their muscles poked and prodded may have a Fear of Massages. I’m going to be mostly keeping this post above the belt but words, like body oil, can be slippery.
Having a Fear of Massages doesn’t necessarily mean you wouldn’t enjoy the relaxation that a massage can offer. It can simply mean you might prefer things like stretching, yoga or putting your legs behind your head and using your hands to walk instead. There’s nothing wrong with preferring to keep your muscles in a constant state of tension and stress with no plans for relief.
What is a Massage and Why Should I Fear It?
Once you have made the decision to put your face in the little table hole that a dozen other people have used earlier that day and a dozen more after you, you’ve committed and there’s no going back. Most massage places don’t even offer a safe word so you’re trapped until your 60 minutes are up. Anything less than 60 minutes is basically the equivalent of warming up before a beer-league croquet game and anything more than 60 means you’re a sociopath.
If you are a smaller person, you might have a Fear of Massages because you know there’s not much distance between your skin and your bone marrow. So the threshold between pleasure and biopsy is very thin. Receiving a massage and feeling your tendons move along side muscles you didn’t know existed can be an uncomfortable experience for some people.
What Will Relax Your Fear of Massages?
So what can you do to help alleviate the stress of having a Fear of Massages? For starters you can just not get a massage. But that’s too easy. You could apply for masseuse college, become certified, build up your clientele base for a few years and really establish yourself as a leader in the industry. Then, once you’ve seen and done it all, you can request to have another Nobel prize winning masseuse give you a massage so you can finally experience it from the other side. That should make you forget all about your Fear so then you can come back here and tell all your friends about this post.