The Things I Fear Community spoke. For some reason, you all wanted to hear about Fear of Needles. What is wrong with you? Needles are the worst. Nothing good has come from a single injection or extraction. The reason Needles exist at all is for the sole purpose of doctors and dentists striking Fear into the hearts and minds of their patients. They watch with twisted delight as their patients turn pale; eyes rolling back as they teeter and eventually faint. Speaking from experience, of course. I put myself in this type of in-depth journalism every opportunity I get. But that’s less to do with sinister doctors and more about having a Fear of Needles.
Why Do Needles Hurt?
Needles are long, pointy sticks with sharp tips that penetrate your flesh. Needles either inject you with a dormant version of a disease or drain your blood in the name of science. Did you know needles can also be used to create works of art on your skin in exchange for monetary considerations and/or to look cool in prison? Yes, even tattoos, the epitome of class in modern society, are the result of needles. So if you were planning on getting your ex-girlfriend’s name imprinted on your lower back, you might want to reconsider. Since it would involve a needle, I mean.
Needles can also be used in non-tattoo or non-medical purposes too. For example: You can knit a scarf with what is basically a comically large needle or repair a rip in your jeans (even if you bought them that way). Some plants also have needless coating their leafy exteriors. Some animals use needles to shield themselves from predators looking for lunch who might already have a Fear of Needles. Just remember: even small versions of needles can still pierce through your eyeball if you give it the chance.
If you are not sure whether or not you have a Fear of Needles, there is a simple test. Go to your room and take down one of the pins holding up your favourite regrettable band poster. Poke yourself in the arm with it then report back with your findings. You should probably also sterilize it first. Or just avoid the test entirely. But I am not a doctor so don’t follow my advice. Or do. It’s the internet, I have to be right.
Getting The Most Out of Your Fear of Needles
If you have a Fear of Needles then you know it can cause the same feeling as when you are going up the basement stairs and the light bulb above you suddenly turns off and you feel eyes staring at you from somewhere in the dark. The hairs on the back of your neck stand up, a shiver runs down your spine and suddenly the very fluid that is responsible for keeping you alive is being taken from under your skin by someone who may or may not have a license.
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