Fear of Spiders

Okay, before I even get into it, this is one that I actually understand. Something like the Fear of Jell-O or Fear of Unpeeled Bananas, not so much. Fear of Spiders, I understand. Arachnophobia affects a shocking amount of people. If you put a 20 foot tarantula in a room of 30 unsuspecting children almost all of them would be afraid. Fact.

Arachnophobia & You: What Causes Fear of Spiders?

Spiders have at least 8 legs. No one can confirm the exact number because nobody wants to get close enough to count. You never know when those little guys will decide to strike. Realistically, it might be never, but it might be sooner than you think! They also have at least 2 eyes. Not as scary but it’s still worth noting. In addition to the legs and eyes, they have these furry little bodies that seem to suggest they want to be pet. Don’t make the mistake of trying to pet a spider though because sometimes they can jump and disappear into the night. Or they can bite you and then you have no choice but star in 3 movies about saving an entire city only to be replaced by some other guy a few years later WHO I DON’T THINK WAS EVEN BITTEN BY A SPIDER…But I digress. Not knowing the whereabouts of spiders at all times is the biggest contributor to Fear of Spiders. By law, there must be at least two spiders somewhere in your house 24/7. This ridiculous act, the spider quota, was passed in the early 1700s. I won’t bore you with the details but basically it stated that all homes require spiders. I don’t really want to get into the legal side of things because it’s not my area of expertise. The fact of the matter is not knowing where a spider is in in the house is worse than having one perched on your head. If you can’t see them, they could be anywhere. At least if you know it’s on your head you can start writing your will. If you’ve managed to capture one and plan to release it from whence it came via the toilet bowl, watch it closely. Those things know a few Houdini tricks. Suddenly the power goes out and then you hear a knock at the door. It’s just the worst.

Crawl Away From Your Fear of Spiders

So what can you do if you have a Fear of Spiders? You can’t live your life hiding from them in your closet. Mostly because they tend to live in closets. You need to take control and assert your dominance over those tiny creatures. Usually spiders don’t grow any bigger than your thumb. Unless you live in Australia, in which case I am so sorry. Or if you live anywhere near the Forbidden Forest because I think we all know how big those things can get. Spiders are generally pretty small and usually keep to themselves. If you spot one crawling on the ceiling or wall, just approach it with caution and prepare some type of sacrifice. You can talk to it if you really want to. If it replies then you might have a bit of a problem on your hands, but for the most part they stay pretty quiet. Of course, if it lunges at you it’s fair game. Prison rules. Oh, and PS, the average person swallows 8 spiders a year in their sleep. Yeah.