Shout-out to the classic Goosebumps book which, like the first Things I Fear book, is available for purchase on Amazon! Where would we be without the work of Sir R.L Stine and his fascination for weird concepts for short stories being adapted into strange interpretations made for TV? We thank you for your service, wisdom and leadership in creating nightmares for children all over the world. I should preface this post by saying it will have very little to do with that terrible movie featuring a basement which has been Reviewed on this site before. Now let’s take a look at the Top 10 Reasons to Stay Out of the Basement.
10. The Lights Don’t Work – If you aren’t a certified electrician, you might not know how to change a light bulb. If that is the case, you may never be able to set foot into your basement for Fear of the Dark. Sure, you could just change the light bulb and have an entire extra floor of your house revealed and fully accessible to you, but perhaps there’s something you don’t want to see down there anyway.
9. Someone Else Lives in The Basement – Now this could be a fully qualified tenant who is occupying additional space in your house and paying rent but it could also be a squatter that you discover by chance. Either way, you’ve now invaded their personal space and you should probably head back upstairs before they get upset.
8. The Lights Do Work but They Don’t Help – Sometimes it’s better to not see something scary than witness it while navigating through a dimly lit crawl space. That’s my motto. Has anything good ever come from a flashlight starting to fade, frantically smacking the side of it to get it to illuminate and reveal what’s standing in front of you? If you can’t see it, it can’t see you. Unless it can see in the dark.
7. It’s Not Your House – Unless you’re an escaped convict on the run and looking to lay low from the fuzz, or you are trying to become one by first committing a crime, you shouldn’t be entering someone else’s basement. If you are desperate to enter a space below the ground, have you considered digging a hole in your own backyard?
6. The Basement Has a Dark Past – Whether it was the former stomping ground of a sinister cult, the site of a horrific murder or someone just spilled their pasta dish on the floor and forgot to clean it up, anytime a basement has a history to it, there’s reason to avoid going near. Usually, houses have at least one creepy piece of history to be aware of like when you find a hidden crawlspace or see the penciled height lines of a mysterious forgotten child on the inside of a closet door frame. But if anything happened in that basement, you stay away.
5. There’s a Monster Down There Already – Well this one is pretty obvious. If you already know there’s a creature from the black lagoon lurking in the shadows of the basement, you’re probably not too keen on going down there. If you do decide to explore and face your metaphorical or literal demons, you just hope it’s one of those nice monsters that’s more afraid of you than you are of it. You know the ones.
4. It’s Crawling With Bugs – Yes, we’ve already discussed having a Fear of Bugs in general but it’s not yet been tied to a reason to avoid an entire level of your house. Some people exclusively buy or rent apartments that are above ground to avoid the presence of creepy crawlies which is a great strategy unless you have a Fear of Heights.
3. Someone Forewarned You To Stay Out of the Basement – It doesn’t really matter who it was. If someone tells you “Stay Out of the Basement” there must be a reason. No one just gives ominous warnings like that without probable cause for death or general calamity. Consider the gas station guy from The Cabin in the Woods. Did they heed his warning? No. And look what happened to them.
2. You Hear Something Screaming – Slightly less terrifying if you aren’t the only person in the house so you can at least blame the sounds on a roommate who found a spider. Of course, if you are home alone then hearing the sounds of someone or something screaming from the basement doesn’t exactly sound like a warm invitation to take a look. If you hear the sounds of horror coming from below you, it might be time to find a new house.
1. Something Bad Happened the Last Time You Were in the Basement – Let’s say you went into the basement to get a new can of army rations and you were ravaged by something lurking in the shadows. You managed to get away from its clutches, and sprinted up the stairs to lock the door behind you all the while leaving a trail of dehydrated peaches behind you. Your shirt was ripped exposing your back which was dripping with warm blood from claw marks and you vowed never to return. But then you realized you are running low on milk and went back anyway.
Agree with our Top 10 Reasons to Stay Out of the Basement List? Let us know in the comments or by leaving a rave review on Facebook. If you have an idea for a Top 10 List of your own, don’t forget you can submit your ideas or original content too!
