At one point or another, we’ve all been babies. Unless you’ve got one of those weird Benjamin Button-type situations in which case you will become a baby later on in life, but that’s a Fear of its own. So it seems kind of odd for adults to develop a Fear of Babies since it’s basically like being afraid of a smaller version of yourself and yet…babies.
Where Does Fear of Babies Come From?
Ask your parents. Fear of Babies often originates from sitting on a couch at a family gathering and having a baby thrown into your lap without warning. The Fear can also include holding a screaming child and then having it (we shouldn’t assign genders to babies. It’s 2019, give them a chance to identify themselves) vomit all over your clothing. Either way, babies can be enough reason for anyone to never want to leave the house. They’re out there. Being pushed around in strollers, drooling on car keys (should babies be playing with car keys?) or fitting into tiny, tiny shoes.
When babies are not sleeping 30 hours a day like cats, they are screaming for what feels like an eternity. Most of the screaming conveniently takes place in the early hours of the night to maximize how little sleep you can get. They listen to the monitors positioned next to their cribs, waiting for the sounds of you falling asleep before they show off the new vocal cords they’ve discovered.
How To Grow Out of Your Fear of Babies
Before the fictitious stork flies over your house with an infant dangling precariously from its mouth and drops it down your chimney without warning, many people contemplate whether spawning a child is the right decision for them. If you answer yes to the following list of baby-related horrors, then perhaps you are ready for a child since you’ve clearly gotten over your Fear of Babies.
- Do you like the idea of staying in the house for the rest of your life to watch over a smaller version of yourself?
- Do you enjoy not having any money because it all gets invested in diapers and loud toys that become unwanted after 20 minutes?
- Is watching your wallet, phone or keys be flushed down the toilet by a child your definition of fun?
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, you should stop reading this and go find a baby to call your own because you clearly don’t have a Fear of Babies.
2 Comments
So apt. I somehow have a deep seated fear of babies. This article clearly bolsters my point.
Yes, babies are beautiful, terrifying little
creatureshumans. So many people Fear the thought of holding them or spawning one of their own. Other people like to touch the soft spot on their heads. Glad you enjoyed the post!